While attending a 12 step meeting one Saturday, someone shared a specific story about their struggle with food and I'd like to share it with you. In order to make telling the story easier, I'll use the name Cathy.
Cathy really wanted ice cream. Unfortunately, it wasn't something she could have. Even though she knew this, Cathy still planned on having some. Before leaving her home, she said a prayer, "God, if you don't want me to have this, you're going to have to do something about it." She then picked up her keys, got in the car and left.
As she continued to tell her story, Cathy mentioned how the traffic was horrible and when she arrived at the ice cream store, it was closed. On the door, there was a sign saying, "Sorry, no power - closed." (She noticed the traffic was horrible but didn't realize the cause was from there not being any traffic lights until after she saw the sign on the door!) Afterward, she acknowledged her Higher Power did answer her prayer - she ended up not having the ice cream!
This story had a big impact on me. I thought about my own struggles with food, and in doing so, in my own mind, was able to come up with several recent examples. A current one was when I'm in the grocery store; several departments call out to me to go visit. I may not buy anything, but I'm always "perusing."
Another example is the evening hours between dinner and bed time. I'm fine until my husband eats something. It's the smell or sound that has always gotten to me.
I realized I still was having a problem with food. I was abstinent; I was writing my food down; I was calling it in to my sponsor; but I didn't have any peace.
These thoughts went tumbling through my mind after I heard the story. I realized I was still hanging on to some control around my food. I hadn't completely given it up. I'd asked God for help many times, but I hadn't given the food completely to God. Giving my food to my sponsor wasn't enough.
So on the way home from the meeting, sitting in the passenger seat (I was fortunate enough to ride with someone), I physically lifted my hands in the air, saying out loud (and visualizing it), "God, I give you my food. I don't want it anymore. You take it."
Immediately afterward, I felt a huge relief - almost like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
I haven't struggled with my food since. When I go into the grocery store, none of the foods call out to me anymore; nor does my husbands snacking bother me. If I find some inkling of being uncomfortable around food, I know it's because I've been lax with my spiritual program.
Over the years I've learned not to question the power of this program. Miracles are happening in the 12 Step rooms; many in my own life. This program works, if you work it! All I have to remember is to do it ONE DAY AT A TIME (but do it!)
Please join me again on this incredible exciting journey! YOU TOO CAN HAVE RECOVERY!
Norinne M.
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